Christmas Crafts

It seems that during the holidays, you can’t visit a craft blog without running into some sort of tutorial for empty toilet paper rolls. You can turn this nifty piece of cardboard into a gift card holder, candy holder, little gift bags, etc. You name it, and there is probably a tutorial for it.

If you are one of the people that love turning empty TP rolls into any of the above, please stop reading now. Go away, because this post will scar you for life.

If you are considering making something out of a toilet paper roll, allow me to put you off that idea now. If you have been saving those empty rolls to make something, allow me to put you off that idea now. Or at least, let me tell you why those crafts make me want to run to the doc’s office to get a gazillion jabs – one for every germ that calls that empty toilet paper roll home.

Nomen est omen, people! It’s an empty toilet paper roll.

Think about it.

It’s an empty toilet paper roll that was in close proximity to the toilet. It needs to be, because what would be the point of having a roll in the next room when you need it in the bathroom?

Think about it.

There is a rule about how far your toothbrush has to be away from the toilet to avoid contamination. That toilet paper roll is right next to the toilet.

Think about it.

A toilet roll doesn’t stay in close proximity to the toilet only for a few hours. That roll stays there for at least a day or two. With people using it. They only wash their hands afterwards – after they have handled that toilet paper roll.

Think about it.

To pimp that empty toilet paper roll with fancy paper, ribbon and embellishments costs around $3. Skip the toilet paper roll, and you can still make a nice container/envelope out of the remaining things. Without the germs.

Think about it.

People also put candy in those rolls. Would you eat a piece of candy that was right next to the toilet for a few days? Same for the use of earrings, lip balm, etc.

Think about it.

 I’m all for eating that piece of hard candy that was lost at the bottom of a handbag for months, and now has the consistency of soft caramel.  That once soft piece of gum that now has the consistency of boiled sweets, is another fine example.

What I will not do is use/eat/wear anything that comes out of a toilet paper roll. Ever. If you give me one of those lovely craftily altered items, I will secretly wonder about you and your place in my life – because it is obvious that you want me to die of some toilet-germ-related disease.

Want to give me candy? Just put it in your pocket and dig it out when you see me. Nothing cleans teeth like the lint stuck to candy, I always say.

Till next time,

Miss Thimble

P.S: Did you notice how I repeatedly used the word ‘toilet’ without anyone thinking I’m a freak-a-zoid? It’s because you’ve been indoctrinated by all the TP roll crafts flyin’ around the net. Think about that too. Amen.

P.P.S: I’ve been giving the itty bitty Janome a good workout, and will share my progress in my next post. *hint* It’s for Mama Thimble.